The Magic of Touch and Connection
Having a baby is a magical time and it also can have its challenges too. The first months, even the first year, are filled with change, connection, love, worries and of course exhaustion. The Fussy Baby Network is a support program for families who have babies one year and under. Our Infant Specialists hear from families about the worries and wonders during this time. Here are a few examples:
Am I getting this parenting thing right?
What is my baby telling me with their cues and cries?
How do I help my baby calm and soothe better?
This is hard! Is it supposed to be? Is it like this for others?
Parents and Caregivers often feel like they are alone in their thoughts and feelings around this. One thing we know for sure is that all babies (and families) are beautifully unique and different, and one plan does not fit all! You might be wondering where does infant massage come into play here? It’s safe to say that connection and co-regulation in the first year of life helps to create a strong secure base for babies…a sense of safety. This connection between babies and caregivers is what creates the platform for growth and development. Helping a baby calm, soothe, and feel balanced comes from many different interactions with them: feeding them when hungry, helping them sleep when tired, calming and helping them feel balanced when overstimulated, playing with them, reading a book, singing, dancing and movement, and sometimes just cuddling and being together. When one thing doesn’t work, we try something different. The one constant in many of these interactions is touch…and connection.
“One thing we know for sure is that all babies (and families) are beautifully unique and different, and one plan does not fit all! ”
Connection and touch, especially when caring for infants, happens all day (and night sometimes!). Thinking about all the ways babies receive touch can help us understand how it supports a baby’s regulation, enhances strong relationships, creates that secure base, and empowers parenting (it is just as good for the adults as it is for the babies). Our support at Fussy Baby often turns to discussions around touch and Infant Massage as strategies. Nurturing touch elicits release of the hormone oxytocin, which is associated with a calm mood and affiliative behavior. According to research at Stanford University, infant massage can improve babies’ sleep, reduce fussiness, increase relaxation for mothers and infants, improve lactation for mothers, and reduce postpartum depression in mothers (excerpt from https://cedarskids.org/news/news.html/article/2021/08/11/hold-me-close-physical-touch-and-brain-development).
“According to research at Stanford University, infant massage can improve babies’ sleep, reduce fussiness, increase relaxation for mothers and infants, improve lactation for mothers, and reduce postpartum depression in mother”
When supporting families in our Fussy Baby Network Program, no matter why a family has called, we often talk about the importance of touch, co-regulation, their baby’s unique sensory system, and attuning and understanding ways to regulate their baby. We use touch and massage as a pathway to support. Discussions around this increases parenting efficacy (and aha moments). We wonder together about what types of touch their baby’s respond to in a way that calms and soothes them. We even explore the opposite, what their baby’s show that they do not like when touched (deep pressure, light pressure, bath time, lotion, textures etc). It’s a wonderful way to introduce connection and understanding their baby’s cues. Exploring Infant Massage is an organic way for Parents and Caregiver’s to think differently about what touch means to their baby’s, how it feels for them and wonder how and when to use it in a way that fits their routines.
“With support from an Infant Specialist, the family had a better understanding of their baby’s cues, sensory likes and dislikes and how to use touch and massage helped them feel more hopeful.”
Families often walk away with a wealth of knowledge about their own relationship with their baby, how touch and massage can be used as together time as well as a strategy to help soothe and calm their baby. Families report new understanding about the way their baby’s sensory system might work and they are empowered to try some new things. One family shared that they would get anxious everyday right before their baby’s “witching hour”. It felt like ground hog day for them, and they dreaded this time. With support from an Infant Specialist, the family had a better understanding of their baby’s cues, sensory likes and dislikes and how to use touch and massage helped them feel more hopeful. They had some concrete strategies to try and their anxiety went down. They also felt more “tuned in” to reading their baby’s cues during this time since their worries were lessened. This very stressful time for them still happened but they felt more prepared and ready, even if it didn’t go well.
We know that touch experience is essential not only for the development of touch sensitivity but for general cognitive development as well (Elliott, 2000). The sense of touch is also one of the strongest developed senses when a baby is born, even stronger than taste. It makes sense why touch, feeling loved and seen have so many benefits. It supports the baby’s immune system, helps with digestive issues, and most important supports that strong relationship (and secure base). Building on this sense of touch and sensorineural development is such a wonderful connecting way to support and empower the parenting journey.
This post is due in part to the Erikson Institute. The Erikson Institute is a premier graduate school dedicated to child development. They are renowned for teaching students how critical factors—from brain development to public policy—influence child well-being.